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Personal You: Fostering a Successful Mentor-Mentee Relationship

Special education thrives on, even relies on, mentorship. In a field that often struggles with retention, young special educators can benefit immensely from the advice and support of those with more experience. However, mentors are not just for the young. Experienced educators also benefit from mentors—and from being a mentor.

We spoke to several CEC members about the mentor-mentee relationship. As it happens, many of them participate in CEC’s Pioneers Division pilot mentoring program—more on that in a future issue.

Finding Your Mentor
Anyone can be a mentor, though professors and colleagues are the more obvious choices. The relationship can take shape through a formal mentorship program or be more casual. In the absence of a formal program, young educators are free to choose their role models—people whom they want to emulate.

Dr. Stephen Kroeger of the University of Cincinnati encountered his first mentors while in school; he felt a special connection with two professors in particular. When he became a middle school teacher, he identified his mentors as fellow teachers and administrators who believed in him and in what he was doing.

“I started out with 17 seventh and eighth grade students, all with some form of emotional and behavioral disorder,” Kroeger remembers. “I really appreciated having someone to consult with during that first year of teaching.”

Most mentors indicate that their mentees chose them, instead of the other way around; they didn’t realize they were role models until a mentee initiated the relationship. So once you have identified a potential mentor, go ahead and approach that person. Don’t worry about bothering him or her—chances are he or she will be flattered and more than willing to help.

Sometimes, though, all the mentee needs to do is watch from afar and learn.

“I observed how my mentor navigated tough situations, how she made decisions, how she set her vision for special education and followed through,” says Dr. William Bogdan, assistant superintendent of Hamilton County Schools in Ohio and a CEC past president.

Signs of a Good Mentor
Effective mentors are trustworthy, accepting, and good listeners. They can identify the mentee’s next stage of growth and help him or her reach it. Mentors should be able to devote enough time to their mentees and not accept the commitment otherwise.

“I see the mentor as having three responsibilities: share, care, and be there,” says Genevieve Ortman, a retired special educator with 34 years’ combined experience as a teacher, administrator, and teacher educator.

To Kroeger, a fruitful mentor-mentee relationship is one that is collaborative. The mentee is encouraged to grow—and the mentor may learn something as well.

“I was surrounded by many experienced people, but the ones with the most effect on me were those who promoted a sense of collegiality and reciprocity,” he explains. “I didn’t necessarily want to feel like a protégé.”

The mentor should also help the new teacher adapt to the school’s particular culture.

“Practical advice is not something you learn in school,” says Maya Israel, a University of Kansas doctoral candidate who previously spent four years as a special educator. “Each school is unique, has a ‘hidden curriculum’ so to speak. New teachers need help navigating that.”

However, it’s important that the mentor doesn’t hover, points out Laura Mohr, who has been in the field for more than 30 years.

“New special education teachers have so much on their plates. At first they feel as if all they do is paperwork,” she says. “We want to help them get organized but not overwhelm them even more. You have to know when to move in and when to back off.”

Bogdan impresses upon his mentees the value of professional associations such as CEC. He knows firsthand how belonging to such organizations can advance one’s career and is excited to see how young educators can evoke change. Being on several local university advisory boards, he informs program directors of how well they are training the teachers of tomorrow, based on his assessment of his mentees’ skill sets. That way, the mentor-mentee experience comes full circle.

The Responsibilities of the Mentee
Mentees must also keep up their end of the bargain. First off, they must truly want the help they are being offered. A good mentee asks plenty of questions and is receptive to constructive criticism. At the graduate or doctoral level, the mentee should become involved in the professional discourse.

“I tell my mentees to unapologetically pick my brain as much as possible,” says Bogdan. “After all, that’s what I have agreed to let them do.”

Good mentees also tend to make good mentors. After several years of teaching, Kroeger volunteered for a peer-mentoring program and went on to run a mentorship program at another school. His own mentors admired his desire to share innovative ideas and encouraged him to pursue a doctoral degree. After 12 years as a special educator, he switched to teacher education, which he has done for 15 years. He now coordinates the University of Cincinnati’s special education program and mentors many preservice professionals.

Maintaining the Relationship
Like any relationship, mentorship takes work in order to reach its full potential. It is not enough for an older teacher to be assigned to a newer one or for a professor to post office hours for his students.

Regular, face-to-face interaction is often most effective, but thanks to modern technology, the bond can even form long-distance. E-mail, webcams, and social networking sites such as Facebook are all fair game.

“I’ve mentored undergraduate students in different states,” explains Ortman, though she prefers handwritten notes over e-mail. “We have never met. I don’t know their age, their marital status, or anything. But we share a common passion for special education, and that is what matters most.”

When Mentorship Goes Bad
And like other relationships, sometimes mentorships just don’t work out. One or both parties may be too busy to commit or find that their personalities aren’t compatible. The connection can wax and wane or dissolve completely.

“In that case, the relationship tends to become passive,” says Kroeger. “It eventually just fades away. Hopefully they move on and find a better match.”

Sometimes, too, the mentee outgrows his or her mentor, which should not be interpreted as rejection. The mentee simply becomes more comfortable and therefore doesn’t seek help as frequently.

It’s Okay to Ask for Help
One misconception among professionals, both young and old, is that seeking a mentor is a sign of incompetence. In actuality, admitting that you need help shows strength and conscientiousness.

“It’s part of the perfectionist mentality among teachers,” Mohr jokes.

Kroeger likens it to the health care field: “If I had a problem my doctor didn’t know how to address, I would be furious if he went ahead and pretended as if he did. I would want him to consult with more experienced doctors.”

You’re Never Too Old . . . .
Teachers typically see themselves as lifelong learners, and rightly so. Experienced teachers may need help keeping up with the literature, learning new technology, rejuvenating their lesson plans, dealing with particularly difficult students, or planning for the next stage in their career. This is where a mentor can help.

“Our problems are so similar, but we solve them in different ways,” Israel points out.

Bogdan has been an educator for 32 years, and all that time he has kept in touch with his lifelong mentor, an administrator who helped him transition from teacher to administrator himself.

“I’m still learning from her, as well as from my mentees. Mentorship is not age-generated. I’m just excited to talk about the profession, period—no matter who it’s with.”

And the act of mentoring doesn’t need to happen under formal or long-term circumstances. It is all around us, under different guises: parent, advisor, manager, and so on. Every time someone listens to another’s problems, and offers advice based on personal experience—well, that’s a “mentoring event,” as Kroeger calls it.

“We all have areas for growth, no matter how old we are,” he says. “And some people, the good mentors, just make you feel safer about saying that.”